What can hurt your child after a divorce?
Many studies have reported that children of divorced parents experience more problems in adjustment than children who grow up in intact families. Much of the research suggests that children of divorce are more likely to have more difficulties in school and to be more sexually active, more aggressive, more anxious, more withdrawn, less prosocial, more depressed, and more likely to abuse substances and participate in delinquent acts than their peers from intact families.
However, what is the cause of all these problems?
Recently, findings have suggested that the economic hardships parents face after the divorce seems to be the crux and main factor of all these problems.
Dramatic losses in income contribute to additional life stresses such as moving to a smaller residence in neighborhoods with increased crime, lower quality schools, and loss of familiar and developed community supports. Lower income also forces many custodial parents to work additional hours to cover the basic necessities and bills. Financial strain is one of the strongest predictors of depression in single parents. Higher levels of depression are predictive of more punitive disciplinary practices and decreased parental nurturance, support, and satisfaction with the parenting role.
Most children's adjustment problems occur within the first two years following their parent's divorce or remarriage. Still, some children, who appear to be adjusting well early-on, will experience a reemergence of problems during adolescence. Research indicates that while behavior problems are common at the time of divorce, they typically diminish as time passes. Most children will eventually adapt successfully to this life transition and have no long-term ill effects.
However, that does not mean that we should chuck them aside and forget everything about them.
In fact, we should be cooperative, mutually supportive, low conflict co-parenting relationships are advantageous for both children and adults. Other family process variables such as the maintenance of parent involvement, successful manipulation of the logistics of co-parenting (e.g., maintaining schedules, visitation, communication, decision-making), and the coordination of parenting roles and values are important mechanisms for reducing the stress of both parents and children.
Written By: Rachel & Xi Ying
We are strong advocates of divorced children & youths living in Singapore.
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